I've been meaning to write more here but I keep just like... not really finishing any thought for that matter? I journal my thoughts down sometimes, but I never really finish them. Sometimes I do but Then im like "eeeh i dun wanna post that" or "thats too short ill just post it to wetdry".

to be honest, i have been rather busy anyway. working a lot, studying a lot. just recently i applied to a scholarship that had THREE essays. THREE. and i spent actual months toiling over them making them the best i could possibly muster. trying to pick up hours at my job, and also trying to relax and my living space maintained. stuffs hard man

EDIT (1/15/24): THIS IS OUTDATED. leaving it up because i dont feel like taking it down yet for archival's sake

(Disclaimer: Nothing here should be construed as support for cryptocurrency or similar, especially in it's current state. I do not support Karel Hulec, the current CEO of Neos, in any form. I am making assumptions that Resonite will share some key similarities to Neos, including it being a social VR Sandbox. Nothing about Resonite's details have been actually confirmed about this platform as of writing. Resonite isn't even confirmed to be in development yet. I do not have all of the facts, please use discretion; I'm just a bee on the internet.)

The new Unity pricing changes are unlikely to greatly affece htmt neither Neos nor it's speculated spiritual successor (dubbed "Resonite", developed by Yellow Dog Man Studios), based on what Unity has said in it's FAQ:

1. Unity Plus is being axed. If either platform uses it, they will likely upgrade to pro or greater if it does not already. Unity Plus is 125 a month, but Unity Pro is 170 a month, paid annually.
   

   1. If either platform uses a lingering Unity Plus subscription still, it would be a good idea to upgrade early to Pro due to it's pitifully low annual income threshold and high, fixed Runtime Fee of 0.20USD per install.

2. Unity Pro and Enterprise share a reasonably high annual income threshold per game/app for Runtime Fee eligibility. The Runtime Fee will not be assessed during a subscription period if the game/app does not produce at least 1M USD during the course of the period

   1. I doubt that Neos nor Resonite will meet this threshold for some time notwithstanding a worst case scenario. Both applications primarily generate it's revenue through Patreon. Neos gets additional monies from being licensed out itself, and if the successor may as well if it is similar. With this information, it may be assumed that either game would not be under reasonable jeopardy of making money over this threshold.

      However, Neos could be additionally screwed though because of crypto. As a worst case scenario: should pump-and-dump be initiated again, Unity might be able to argue that the rising value of NCR could count as game revenue. Neos' spiritual successor may avoid this, according to current rumours in the Neos Discord: the platform does not use crypto at all or as extensively as Neos. It currently only receives revenue from Patreon.

      I do not know if Neos has enough outside license income that could push the game over 1M USD of yearly revenue. Please correct me if this is the case. Currently, it can be assumed to not, due to no known developers staff being hired with Neos proper and it's subsequent slow development. (A >1M game would probably have at least a couple regular devs, right?)

3. Pro and Enterprise have a bracketed fee schedule for the Runtime Fee. It is cheaper than Plus by an order of magnitude, and decreases permanently as the game is distributed more and more.

   1. Assessment is based on installs with in a month. For Pro/Enterprise If a successor were to massively take off achieve 1M total downloads AND generate over a million USD in a year, the first 100,000 installs in a single month would cost 15,000USD total. After which the installs would begin to get more discounted, until after one million installs at 0.02cents/install. If a game were to receive 100,000 installs for each month and exceed these criteria, the bill for the year would be 180,000USD. Again, to be charged this fee for a particular month after exceeding 1M lifetime installs, a game/app must generate more than a million dollars in the preceeding 12 months.

4. Since Unity is known to be used partially as a renderer. They are willing to work out discounts for people who use other Unity services such as "such as Unity Gaming Services or Unity LevelPlay mediation for mobile ad-supported games." Ergo, it's possible that Unity itself might be receptive towards general negotiation. The worst they can say is "no".

5. In the longer term, both Neos and it's successor are reasonably known to be moving away from Unity.
   

   1. The new Neos Whitepaper details a goal for "interconnected compatible Neos Metaverse clients", meaning several versions of the Neos client are planned to exist, diluting the use of Unity in the distant future (if it generally does not die down further).

   2. Likewise, Resonite may eventually utilize a different renderer in the future. The modular nature of the FrooxEngine that is hypothesized to use make it possible to swap in a new renderer in the future. There is a rendering engine, called "Sauce", that is under active development by current and former Neos community members, including Geenz. Geenz is known to be a rendering developer on YMDS: it would be entirely possible for Resonite to move from Unity to Sauce upon it's maturation.

In short, Neos and Resonite will be just fine with the new Unity Runtime Fee for the foreseeable future, barring a spike an unprecedented in popularity. The situation is not great, but it is not terrible. I feel it would be in the best interest for these two platforms (along with anyone else who is considering Unity for indie game work) to accelerate work porting away from Unity.

I REALIZE something

Why does math have to be so damn hard like oh my god. I like can understand high level concepts but each and every time when I am tested I just make silly ass mistakes in the algebra that totally screw me up. Like I would make these mistakes, not see it during reviewing over and over. Then I would get frustrated as I review my work or lament my low score on a quiz or exam.

My latest math professor has suggested I keep a "journal" of these mistakes, and I've tried, but it's a lot of effort. I was told a pattern would emerge, but nothings jumping out at me. I have ADHD and it's so hard to make sure I slow down and double check. As soon as I'm done with a section, it leaves my mind. It's like paint drying and melding with the rest of the wall.

These pitfalls is why its frustrating for me to function at all. I just don't know what to do and my god damn therapist hasn't offered anything of use.

i own bee.movie now. cry.

I have been accepted into college again! It's been some time, but I am ready to take on the challenge again.

Honestly, I am a bit tired of programmers just assuming that the end user will get better hardware. Like we need to do more with less and make our computing footprint smaller. I'm tired of everything being a boated Chromium-based client. I'm tired of bloated webpages. Console developers can find new optimizations to do more with the same hardware, why the hell can't we do this now? Computer developers have done, and still do for embedded platforms. We need mainstream software to become much more efficient. I wish I knew how I could help.

I am noticing something interesting in my corner of cyberspace: the resurgence of decentralized web spaces. I am very excited about this!

---

When I started getting online, it was at a weird state of change for the Internet. Web 2.0 was maturing into its own. Centralized services like Tumblr, Facebook, were beginning to take off. Old ways of the internet were clashing with the new. I used to use forums a lot back then, I used them more often than IM. I was just a kid back then. As I grew up, I gradually moved away from decentralized internet, taking solace in common spaces such as large Discord servers. But there was always the contention that there was just one sole controller with the service. The protocol, client, API: propriety. Notwithstanding, This isn't a bad thing; its much more grey.

After Elongated Muskrat teased and then purchased Twitter, I finally cut my habit with the platform. I took refuge in many places: I leaned harder towards using Tumblr, Mastodon, and particularly Forums. I've struggled to find Twitter a place I fit in too much, it was huge and curated to everyone/noone. I only used it because everyone else was using it. But something happened when I tried out Internet Forums again. I actually could navigate and connect with people again. I used to be able to do that with Discord, but with the dispersed and chaotic nature that channels were, it was always more of a synchonous activity. I have to set asside dedicated attention and time to connect with people.

I think that its possible that many others are viewing this the same way. Which is why "older" internet things such as forums, Web 1.0, and just plain old Email is seemign more appealing, more organized. I do tend to get hyperfixated over special interests; if this is a "phase" thats okay, I am here to have a good time, after all.

Slightly Future Me comin in: a friend of mine linked a very relevant article for the whole "I use site X because everyone uses site X". It's here if you want to check it out...

Kumoricon 22 was my first huge convention , and it wasn't too bad. However, I feel it could have been better:

---

The hotel was really top notch, but it had the syndrome of being so rich it was putting aesthetic over usability. The hallways and main lobbies were completely stunning and fluid for their architechture, but their rooms were lacking. The room I shared with my sibling, mothfriend, and conmates was gorgeous. The view was very aesthetic (i need to get a thesaurus) with the Portland skyline. Unfortunately, the front entry way also doubled as the bathroom. I am not kidding. Seriously. There was a sliding door that somehow broke during our stay that seperates the bed"room". The toilet door didn't lock, and it slamed very easily.

Panels. OOoh the panels. There were almost too many to choose from on Friday, but there were many that were... not that great or interesting. I forgot most of them already. They were also plagued with technical difficulty, and many were very unprepared. One panel didn't have a visual aid, another had technical/sound issues that delayed the panel by over half an hour. After Friday, the number of appealing panels decreased significantly. I blame part of this on not being very into anime, but there was a slight an oversaturation of Genshin at the con. oh also the panels werent happening all the time, not even in the very early morning (i am a morning person).

Scammers. Good lord. Scammers. I know con security couldn't do anything. but good god. There were some forcing CDs onto people then guilt tripping them into paying or returning. I think they even got kicked out for assualiting a dude. Some guy was being forced to take the CD, but refused multiple times. He got fed up with them blocking the way and tossed the CD and started moving away. Then the scammers yanked the poor lad by the hair to the ground. christ. After that, everyone was calling for security (and police) and they scattered.

Who in their right mind thought that having one main hallway is a good idea??? If I wanted to go from the game room, to the kumoricon (which are litterally in the same room) I was forced to walk in a complete circle from Event Hall C to B even though the main divider was just cloth. If they had a shortcut in many places, and distributed the con throughout the convention center more, it wouldn't have been so claustophobic. This was one of the more major points of contention my mothfriend has, since she gets overwhelmed easily.

Synopsis: suspiciouslyBee goes to convention, [insert adjective] happens. If this gets too long, I will split this into its own page

DAY 0

So today I have made my journey to a convention I am going to. I am going to challenge myself to write something about it each evening of the convention if I can.

The day started easy, I had everything already mostly packed, clothes, and whatnot the night prior. Thankfully, I did not have to take a plane, so I did not have to make serious luggage compromises. I got up with my mothfriend, we got dressed with our Day 0 outfits, then went to get coffee, gas, and a breakfast burrito. I let my folks know where I was with Waze, and started driving the long 3-4 hour drive to con.

There really wasnt too much to say about the drive. It was on interstate in my chill vehicle, my tape deck hijacked with a cheap Big Box store bluetooth cassette. My mothfriend and I listened to various musics on Spotify, including the Bug Fables OST. Good lord its so good. We tried rating each episode of Steven Universe we have seen yet into a tierlist for fun. "Say Uncle" gets its own special hell- I mean Tier.

We arrived at our first stop (sans the creepy rest stop, stop...) at about noon. Got a shuttle from my folks to the hotel and convention. My folks' drivign scares the hell out of me. I do not like it. I was stuck standing in the valet parking for a while waiting for my sibling and our conmates to show up with the key. It was a chill, sunny November afternoon, like mid-40s (in Fahrenheit).

After unloading, there was not much else to do. I went to go get my badges with my sibling and my mothfriend (for privacy, I don't think I'll list names for a while). The line was long (ill put a photo here people. Dont let me forget) and this was JUST for health screening. The health screening is a preventative measure due to COVID-19. They ensure proper masks were worn and that everyone has a recent Coronavirus vaccine. I figure they also do a quick lookover to ensure someone who obviously is ill does not pass.

After that line, there was again not much to do. I was thankful we all got there early, so the line was not too long. So I just sat down and just chatted to my friends online. The view from the hotel room was nice in a urban way. I got a nice outlook of buildings around and all the people walking around.

I havent travelled like this in a long time. The last time I had something like this was probably when I was a kid, with my father. I have not ever been to a large convention before. I've been to one small one when I was really young, but that is just all. I do not know how to feel about it, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little anxious.

I had sushi for dinner. God! I LOVE SUSHI! I just ate so many plates. I think I ate 14 plates, while everyone else just had 4-7. I was stuffed. Everyone else was more conservative over this. It probably did not help that I just forgot to eat earlier (I do this a lot). I just really like the shashimi, and the oregon rolls. The wasabi was really good! I really like the specific spicy that horseradish and wasabi have. I wish more dishes used this. Like, its just an interesting profile compared to capsaisin. So much potential!

This brings me up to now, chilling in a hotel room. I managed to get this keyboard/tablet combo to actually make sense and be comfortable. A laptop without the laptop. I'm proud of my solution.

I am sitting here. But how do I feel right now? I do feel tired and exhausted; it IS a bit late right now as I type this. I feel not underwhelmed, but I am left a bit unsure what I can expect. I just want to make the best of it, and not get too stressed out in the pursuit thereof. Getting super stressed is something I want to avoid for me, but also my mothfriend. This con is her first con EVER, and I want her to feel safe.

DAY 4

man it was hella action packed. I think I need a few days instead of live blogging.